Black Sun
by blackmoonlight606
Summary: What if Renee left Bella with Charlie? What if Charlie was abusive? When the cullens come to Forks things for Bella might take a turn for the worst or for the better... not for mutt-lovers, my first story so be nice pweaze rated T GIVE IT A CHANCE!on hold
1. Story of my Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything sobs in background**

**Most stories start with something happy or with 'once upon a story' but not mine. I learned to grow up fast. From being abandoned by my fast paced mother, to my abusive father. I think I better start off from the beginning.**

**Hello, my name is Isabella Swan, call me Bella though. My mother met my father in her senior year at high school. They fell in love just like high school sweethearts. Got married at Vegas right after school and had me a year later. **

**Things were fine at the beginning of their marriage, but then the fights started happening. Charlie started working more and didn't want to move. Saying he didn't want to feel the pressure of a big city with so much sun. My mother has always loved the sun and felt depressed in the tiny rainy town of Forks, Washington. Charlie started coming home later and later. Renee started leaving me with a babysitter. I was two.**

**Don't get me wrong I loved my parents, before they started arguing, Charlie was the best father, Renee the best mother. But with the fighting and leaving the house when the other was there really started staining their love for each other and for me. **

**When I was four, on my birthday, Renee left Charlie and me. I was in my room looking out the window when I heard the last argument Renee said she couldn't stay here anymore, she was tired of this life. I ran downstairs, without tripping I might add. My mouth was open in a silent cry. I ran to my mother pulling on her shirt begging her to stay. She looked down at me with cold eyes and spoke in a bitter tone, **

"**Let go Isabella."**

**I didn't, silent tears were crawling down my face, along with a sob in my throat. She bent down and unhooked my hands and walked out with only a shout over her shoulder saying goodbye and don't stay in touch. I haven't heard from her in over twelve years.**

**The abuse didn't start till I was five. It was over little things that I couldn't control. For intense, how much I look like Renee, or how I trip over thin air or if I dropped a very heavy plate. Every time I looked into his eyes I didn't see my father but a cold-hearted monster. When I was seven Charlie started going over Billy Black's house forcing me to go with him. I **_**hated**_** going over there. Billy wasn't nice, wouldn't stick up for me, or when Jacob Black his son started hitting me and shoving me. His two older sisters wouldn't help either, but I knew they wanted to, but would get into trouble, you could see it in their eyes.**

**I didn't think life could get any worse, but that was before I started high school.**

**Tell me wat u think!! Review, review, review!! Tell me if u want me to continue, or if u think I shouldn't, its me first story!! ******


	2. Can't be Perfect

Disclaimer: me own nothing!!

Listen to Perfect by Simple Plan it sort of goes with the chapter, well sort of…

I am now sixteen years old. Things this past year have been getting harder and harder. And it wasn't only the girls at school either. I have been forced to be with Jacob Black since I was fourteen. He is a year younger then me, yet he thinks he should have the upper hand in the relationship, it you can call it that! Mutt as I usually call Jacob is 5'9, has dark black Indian hair, with dark skin and black eyes to match his heart.

I was sitting up in my room reading Romeo and Juliet for the millionth time when I heard the front door slam following my father's roaring voice,

"BELLA GET DOWN HER NOW!"

I sighed and wondered what I could have possibly done now! Being careful now to trip down the stairs I stood in front of my father. He was drunk, again. The fifth time this week he came home from work drunk, he was going to be fired at this rate if he kept it up.

"Yes Charlie?" _what do you want now? _I thought silently.

"Do you know what I have been hearing about you young lady?!" he all but shouted in my face

I took a step back, shaking my head I whispered, "No sir."

Before I knew it, my cheek was stinging and Charlie was shouting,

"DON'T NO SIR ME GIRL! HAVE YOU BEEN GOING AROUND JACOB'S BACK? WELL HAVE YOU!"

I shook my head violently. I really needed to learn to be tougher in front of Charlie, but I knew it always ended in a hit. He continued,

"THEN WHY HAS JACOB SAID HE SAW YOU WITH OTHER GUYS? HMM?! IS IT THAT NEWTON KID OR CROWLY? ANSWER ME DAMNIT!"

With another shake of my head I answered,

"No, I haven't s-sir!" _but they won't leave me alone!_ I added silently.

Another slap and another hit was the response I got from Charlie.

"DON'T LIE TO ME GIRL ARE YOU CALLING JACOB A LIER? THAT KID LOVES YOU AND YOUR GOING AROUND WITH OTHER GUYS! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER, RENEE WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER, AT LEAST SHE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A SLUT!"

That cut me deep, I may be some things but I for sure wasn't no slut! Letting my anger control me I spoke back raising my voice as well,

"How can you believe HIM? He is always giving you bullshit about me, and you know it!"

I was tired of being called names and being hit for things, I didn't even do! I could tell my yelling didn't make things any easier. The vein in Charlie's neck look ready to pop!

I was hit across the cheek, and fell down. I could tell he was going to start his nightly routines. Before I could get into a fetal position I was kicked over and over. When I got kicked on the back of my head I fell unconscious and fell into the deep oblivion. **(I was going to leave u guys here but thought I would be nice! ******** )**

I woke up with a killer headache and touching my head hesitantly I could tell why, I felt dry blood. Holding my breath as to not smell the rusty smell I pulled myself up the stairs and into my room. It took a lot of energy to get myself upstairs, Charlie must have been really angry tonight. Checking myself for any bruises that would be easy to see with the human eye, I went to the bathroom to put the ointment on the bruises.

Looking into the mirror, I gave a silent sigh. I had dull brown hair with matching brown eyes. My skin was sickly pale and under my eyes I had big dark circles. I was 5'5 and was one of the clumsiest people you will ever meet. That's how I kept my abuse a secret, everyone knew I was clumsy so didn't always ask why I had so many bruises.

My face had a red handprint across my left cheek. I knew that it would be difficult to hid that tomorrow. I quickly washed my face, applied the ointment on, brushed my teeth and tiptoed into my room. It would be suicide to wake Charlie up! I put on my pajamas and shut off the lights. Going into my bed I couldn't fall asleep for hours, it was like I something big was going to happen tomorrow, I had butterflies in my stomach all night long.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm beeping. Groaning I turned over and put my pillow over my head. Accepting that the damn alarm wouldn't shut off I got out of bed grumbling and shut the alarm off. I grabbed my toiletries and headed for the bathroom. I took a quick shower, not bothering to put any make-up on. I looked into my closet looking for something to wear. Pulling on jeans and a black shirt, I remembered the bruises I had and quickly put a My Chemical Romance hoddie over top.

I didn't have a car and Charlie wouldn't give me a ride so I walked to school. It took me a half hour but I made it. Luckily I brought my iPod so I wasn't bored. I searched threw the songs before deciding on Perfect by Simple Plan. I sang quietly to the lyrics,

**Hey dad look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
And do you think I'm  
wasting my time doing  
things I wanna do?  
'but it hurts when you  
disapprove all along**

And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be  
good enough for you  
I can't pretend that  
I'm alright  
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used  
to be my hero?  
All the days you spend with me  
Now seem so far away  
And it feels like you  
don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be  
good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change  
the things that you  
said  
Nothing's gonna make  
this right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

In all honest truth this was true for me, I can't be perfect for my father and never will be. I sat with my head on my knees waiting for the damn school bell to ring.

I had the volume on high with the song I'm not okay by My Chemical Romance so I didn't realize someone was in front of me trying to talk to me.

I gaped at the person in front of me, they looked like a god!

i'm leaving it here!! Anyone guess who bella saw??

REVIEW REVIEW I need at least five more reviews before the next chapie comes up!! Come on say hello, or wat u had fr lunch!! Should I continue or not??


	3. things start changing

I know I know I hate author's notes too

**Disclaimer: do I really have to say it? Fine. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!! Lol**

**Author's note: I'm just saying it now, some of the characters are going to be ooc because im not the great Stephenie Meyer!! So don't get that mad!! I'll get better soon!! So r&r!! please!! :) **

**Bella's pov**:

I sat there with my mouth open like a goldfish before I came to my senses, I bent my head draping my hair over my face so that the farie pixie wouldn't see my tomato colored face.

She was short only 5'1 (**sorry if I didn't get Alice's height right my friend has my book!!) **she had jet black hair that was spiky, but yet it fit her. She looked like she should be in a model run, not here in Forks High. But the most amazing feature was her eyes, they were topaz! I wondered why I didn't see her here before, I knew I would remember a face like hers!

My thoughts must have shown on my face because the next moment she said,

"Hello! I'm Alice Cullen!"

She was very hyperactive! I never saw anyone that excited in my life. Her voice sounded like wind chimes, yet very soft. Looking down I mumbled,

"Um, I'm Isabella Swan, but just call me Bella."

My voice next to hers sounded very hoarse and scratchy. I thought that my shyness would have made her feel uncomfortable, but it didn't she still spoke in her soprano voice,

"Yea, I've heard of you, isn't your dad the chief of police?"

I had to hide a flinch when she asked that, he was everything but my father at this point. I responded in a small voice,

"Yea, are you new to this town?"

I mentally kicked myself after saying that_, of course she is new, why would she introduce herself! _I thought to myself. She responded,

"YuP. We moved from New York, my mother Esme wanted to get away from the big cities, so my father Dr. Carlisle accepted the job offered here in Forks!"

She was a very bubbly person, _why does she seem so happy to be here? Its just boring rainy Forks!_

"Do you have any siblings?" I didn't see any around her but wanted to make sure in case I bumped into one of them, literally!

"Yes, we're all adopted though, there's me Alice, Emmett my brother. Then there's Jasper and Rosalie they are the twin. Then there's Edward the depressed one of the group."

Wow was all I could think, I didn't think that there was a lot of privacy at her house. I have always wanted a sibling but yet I didn't, I didn't want them to have the abusive life I did. Something once again must have shown on my face because she had a pity kind of look in her eyes.

"Do you have any siblings?"

I sighed, "No, I'm an only child."

She pursed **(I have no idea if I spelled that right sorry if its wrong!!) **her lips and said,

"Well then, I'll be the sister you never had! Rose never lets me do makeovers on her so now I can give you makeovers! Yay! Here," she gave me a piece of paper with her number and house address on it, "Come over to this address this Saturday! YAY! We can go shopping too!"

My mouth kept opening and closing, I really looked like a goldfish now! One moment I was introducing myself the next, I'm getting an invitation to her house! But I didn't let my joy at making a friend last, Charlie and the mutt would never let me go to her house, I would probably get smacked for asking to stay over someone's house anyway! I felt sad, I already felt so close to Alice to, it was like she was my sister that I never had!

I shook my head, looking down I mumbled,

"My father won't let me go, he's um really overprotective of me and doesn't like me going out much." I stuck my head up, "It was really nice meeting you though, see you around school?"

She was pouting it was written clear across her face. She was going to put up a fight, I knew it. I looked at the school clock for a moment and when I looked back at Alice, she had the puppy-dog pout on her face.

My eyes went wide and I tried looking everywhere but at her! She started begging.

"Come on Bella please I hardly ever make friends outside my family! Please! I'm sure your dad will say yes if you tell him you're going over our house! Just say you're going over Dr. Cullen's house!"

I sighed again, my excuses were running out and so was my will power. It was worth a couple of hits to actually get a friend! Well at least I think so.

"Alright Alice, I'll just um beg my father. So um should we get to class now, I think the bell rang!"

She started giggling at something that I didn't get, my face held confusion,

"You'll see soon!" Was her response.

I didn't see Alice until Spanish class right before lunch, she waved over to me and skipped over. We talked for a while but I could feel the glares from the girls around me, you could tell they were thinking, what is Bella Swan the emo girl doing next to the model like girl. To tell you the truth even I'm not sure, we just clicked in a way.

We pasted notes the whole period waiting for lunch to come. I waved goodbye to Alice going to my locker. I was walking straight for my locker when I collided with a rock hard chest. **(haha that was funny to write!) ** i closed my eyes expecting to crash down onto the floor, but instead I felt cold arms around me.

I opened my eyes and looked into topaz eyes. My face held shock, so it took me a moment to detangle myself from the Greek god.

He had bronze hair and looked like a living breathing Adonis statue. I blushed a million times over. I bent to pick up my books only to find them in the hands of _him_. My heartbeat seemed to pound out of my chest. Blushing still, I voiced a soft, "Thank you."

He smiled a crooked smile that made me melt. I was confused I had never felt this way about a boy and certainly wasn't use to these feelings at all!

"I believe these are yours." It took me a moment to put myself together.

"Um, thanks again. I'm Isabella Swan but call me Bella. Um..." I left off, blushing.

"Oh sorry I am Edward Cullen pleasure to meet you. Or err bump into you."

He chuckled and my heart went on a speeding rollercoaster. So this was Alice's brother, a heads up that Edward dazzles people would have been nice!

"I met your sister this morning, is she always that hyper?"

He laughed again, and I melt again. He responded,

"Yes she is, just don't ever go shopping with her! She's a little demon when it comes to shopping!"

I laughed at that, looks like I'm in for a rough Saturday! the lunch bell rang causing me to jump and fall again. Which made him catch me again. I turned an even darker shade of red, which I didn't think was possible!

He chuckled,

"You are very clumsy aren't you?"

I nodded my head to embarrass to speak. He laughed again. I started walking away when he caught up to me easily.

"I am very sorry that was rude of me to laugh are you alright?"

I nodded my head still blushing. We walked to the cafeteria when I saw Alice waving over to us. I started laughing at how she started jumping up and down excitedly.

I was walking over to Alice when the bimbos of the school stepped in front of me. Lauran and Jessica, Lauran has bleach blond hair a fake tan while Jessica has brown hair that is at least three inches high. Both hate me for reasons I never understood.

"Where are you going Swan? Off to go cut yourself again?" **(I have nothing against emos!!** **i hang out with them so don't get offended!! )**

They started laughing sounded like a cat coughing up a fur ball. I hung my head in shame, just because I dress in black people think I cut myself. **( I hate that!!)**

Lauran continued, "So like how's your mom Swan, oh wait like I forgot like she left you!"

I blushed in anger this time, my fist were shaking, I wanted so badly to punch that bitch! Edward put I hand on my shoulder as if he knew what I was going to do.

I smiled up at him, nodding to him that I was okay.

I glared at them,

"She did leave me but at least I don't sleep with every guy in school Lauran!"

I turned to leave when Jessica shouted,

"Ya so, like at least we like are loved and aren't like the most hated person in like Forks!"

I turned to look at her with 'are you crazy look' I hated this town anyway, I already knew they hated me Charlie always says stuff about me. I couldn't take much more of this, I needed to get out for a while. I ran to the parking lot and walked to the forest. I needed to think.

**I'm leaving it off here because first its really late and I'm tired second this was I very long chapie so I ran out of ideas. Not my best one but review, I need a few ideas for the next couple of chapters!! This was a more longer chapie so seven reviews till the next one. Oh and im really sorry for all of the spelling errors!! Tell me hi, or something just PLEAZE REVIEW OR NO FOURTH CHAPIE!! Thank u for all of the reviews from the last chapie!!**


	4. good and bad times

**Disclaimer: peeps I said it three times before I don't own anything!! crying in background**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEAZE READ!! First I want to apologize that I haven't been updating in almost 2 weeks now!! I have a excuse!! My internet was down the whole 2 weeks!! I'm really srry!! Thank you for reviewing to everyone that reviewed!! Also fr those that asked, yes Edward is still attracted to bella's blood but because she is so weak, underfed no nutrition and all that, her blood isn't as strong as it is in the book. They still have the powers they had in the book don't worry, and that is the very LONG author's note!! :P p.s. this chapter is dedicated to ****ForbiddenFruitOfEC, and Darkangel0345 because with out them this chapie wouldn't be out for a while!!**

**Bella's pov:**

I don't know how long I was running/walking, but I knew it was far from the school. Not that I minded! I took a deep breath and looked around.

I was in a small clearing I use to come to as a child, I use to come here for peace and quiet. It hadn't really changed that much, it still had trees surround it like silent protectors. The grass still swayed as if faries were with them. This place held a sign of safety and comfort.

I sat down on one of the tree stumps, I put my head in my hands and sighed. I really didn't know what to do anymore. The abuse was getting worse everyday, the mutt kept on pressuring me to do things I would _never_ do with him. I met Alice and Edward today, who strangly I felt safe with, like I could tell them my secret and they would help.

But I couldn't do that to them, I wouldn't burden them with my problems. I wasn't worth it. No matter how much I wanted to tell them I couldn't. I looked up at the sky, it was gray clouds everywhere. I had my eyes closed when I heard my name being called.

I froze like a deer caught in headlights, I didn't know what to do, if I got caught by Charlie or Jacob I knew I was in for it. I didn't relax until I saw bronze hair, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I let out a small smile when Edward sat next to me on the next stump.

"What are you doing out here Bella?" he asked.

It took me a minute to compose myself before answering,

"Well, um, I needed to think some stuff over."

He seemed interested, like I was some hidden prize he couldn't reach like the others.

"What were you thinking about?" he seemed frustrated at something.

"I was thinking about, um, life?" I ended in a questioning tone.

I didn't think he believed me, his eyes told the whole thing and so did his words,

"Really? So you had to come out here to think about life, when you could do so in a classroom where its safer?"

Ugh he got me, I didn't plan on telling him what I was thinking but he was dazzling me! I said in a rush hopping that he wouldn't understand me,

"I was thinking about my life."

From the was his brow was furrowed** (srry if I didn't spell that rite!!)** I could tell he was going to have a question as to why I was in the middle of the forest thinking about my life when it happened.

It started raining when he was about to open to say something, when I remembered, the make-up I had on wasn't water proof. My eyes went wide as I jumped up, I tried to run so he wouldn't see the bruises I had on me. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't take off my hoddie, but I did and he could spot all the bruises!

He grabbed my wrist before I could make a run for it. He spun me around into his chest. He was looking into my eyes confused.

"Where are you-"he broke off. The make-up had come off my face first revealing my bruises. I froze, I looked up into his eyes to see him trying to control his anger.

"E-E-Edward? Are you a-alright?" _stupid question Bella stupid question_ I scolded myself.

"You are asking me if I'm alright? I should be asking if you are alright! Who did this to you!" he was angry that part I was sure of.

Its not like I could tell him so I tried to lie, poorly might I add.

"Um these old things, ha-ha funny story I was at the um um beach and I um fell on a, ah, erm on a rock and I fell on my erm face?"

Even I didn't believe my lie, why would he believe it! If he actually believed my lie it would be a miracle! But of course I never get the luck!

"Bella you can not honestly believe that I would believe that do you? That bruise is in the shape of a hand! Tell me who did this to you. You can trust me Bella." He seemed to be pleading at the end, and his damn eyes! Must not look into his damn dazzling eyes!

I couldn't tell him so I chose to improvise. I yelled at him,

"Why the HELL should I tell you! I just fucking met you! For all I know you could be an undercover FBI agent!"

He looked surprised I yelled at him, much less cussed at him. I though he would yell back, but he surprised me by replying very calmly.

"Because I care Bella. Something I think that you haven't had for a very long time."

I let my emotional side out, he just didn't freaking understand!

"Why? Why do you fucking care huh? You don't freaking understand what my life is like, you try get beat when you wake up, when you serve dinner and then get called names like slut and whore, and-and getting beat until you become unconscious! and-and-"

I couldn't continue. I was sobbing by now, I couldn't handle this, why was I opening myself to a stranger who, I just met. Yet I feel like he was the part of the puzzle I was missing, like he completes me.

He held me while I cried, I didn't let him go. I clung to his shirt like he was my lifeline. Which right now that was what he was.

We sat there for awhile with him holding me, and I clutching on to him for dear life. We were rocking back and forth with him kissing my head, calming me down, whispering soothing words into my ear. My sobs became soft whimpers that gradually stopped.

I didn't tell him who abused me but I don't think he thought it was Charlie, for that I was grateful. I didn't want him to get hurt trying to protect me against the abuse. Charlie was the chief of police and he had a gun, he could shoot Edward if he tried to protect me and then blame me for Edward's death.

I don't know how long we sat there, with him rocking me back and forth. But it must have been a couple of hours because one minute I was crying my eyes out, and the next I was knocked-out.

I opened my eyes to see amber eyes staring down at me. His eyes went wide when he saw that I was awake, so did mine. I blushed deeply, and tried to detangle myself from the Greek god I fell asleep on.

"I'm so sorry I fell asleep like that." I managed to mumble out, I was beyond embarrassed!

He just chuckled and said in a soft voice,

"No, no its really alright. In fact it was quite enjoyable. Do you know that you talk in your sleep?"

My eyes were as big as saucers. I knew I sleep talk and hated it! The one thing besides blushing that I would be much better without. I groaned and said embarrassed tone,

"Yes, I know I sleep talk. I _hate it!_ What did I say, nothing bad right?"

I don't know if he got the second meaning behind it. I usually say what is in my mind when I sleep talk. If I talked about the abuse Charlie and the dog do to me I was done for!

He looked at me again, with the same frustrated look, except he looked like he was trying to hide it. It still made me blush, I looked down and let my hair fall down onto my face. He smiled and brushed my hair out of my face, he kept on smiling even when he answered,

"You shouldn't hide your face, its too beautiful to hide. Don't worry you didn't say anything horrible in your sleep."

I still wasn't reassured by his words, so I asked again,

"Are you sure I didn't say anything, nothing that I should blush for?"

He gave a small crooked smile that made me melt. He replied softly,

"Alright, all you said was 'its too green' and 'just give me the freaking pizza'. You even said my name."

He spoke the last part unsurely as if he didn't know how I would react to that knowledge. I sure knew how I would react! My blush turned to a red I have never accomplished until now, and my mouth opened in silent horror.

"No!" I couldn't believe it I just couldn't! I said his name, goodness knows what he thinks I was dreaming about him!

He chuckled at my response, he replied,

"It's okay, you only said my name a couple of times. You seemed comfortable and safe when you said my name. I guess you don't speak names often?"

I shook my head, yes I do speak names often, but there in my nightmares! I wake up screaming silently not in the arms of a god! Shaking my head I replied,

"No, I don't usually speak names. I really hate my sleep talking, it always gets me into trouble."

His eyes darken when I said that, like he knew – and after I told him I was abused – the type of trouble I get into for sleep talking.

I looked up to the cloudy sky, just enjoying the peace I felt when I was around Edward. When he moved his arm I saw his watch, it was already 3:50!

Oh shit, Charlie might be home by now. Trying not to show my panic I spoke,

"Um Edward I think I need to go home now. Its getting late and I still have to make dinner."

His eyes narrowed at the aspect of me at home, I hope to any god that he didn't know it was Charlie or Jacob!

"Alright but I'm driving you home. Its going to pour down anytime now."

I didn't argue, the way I saw it I would be home quicker and get into less trouble, I hoped anyway. I didn't know that he had his car close by, we're in the freaking woods! But there it was under a pine tree in all its shiny Volvo glory.

We walked back to his car, enjoying the warmth it offered, well I did anyway.

I was shocked when he put on Debussy. I spoke my shock aloud. He seemed shock too, like he didn't think I would be interested in the classics like the other rap loving teens. (**once again I have nothing against rap but bella does!!)**

"You know Clair Du Lune?"

"Yes, I started listening to it when I was younger to calm down, it stuck with me all these years." I responded.

"Most teenagers these days only listen to rap, most don't even know who Debussy is! My mother used to play it for me before she died."

Wow, I didn't know his mother died, I never really had a mom but I knew it was hard to lose one.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring back any memories."

I was too, I hate thinking of my mother and I hate her, god knows how feels.

"Don't be, she died a long time ago. I hardly remember her anymore."

He seemed to try to put on a façade to cover up how he felt. I looked away to give him privacy.

Before I knew it we were two blocks from my house. I told Edward to stop at the corner. I said this for two reasons. First Charlie's cruiser was parked outside, second Jacob's Rabbit was also. If Charlie didn't spark fear into me the mutt sure as hell did! My heart stopped for a moment.

Edward tried to argue saying that it was only two more blocks. But I said I needed the exercise anyway. I opened the door with a heavy heart, closing the door I gave a sad smile. He looked sad as well, but I quickly brushed it off as a pity look. Someone like him would never like someone like me. I was too damaged, I was marked and bruised.

I started walking to the deathtrap known as my home. I walked up the walkway as slowly as I could, looking back I could see Edward giving me a sad smile and a wave goodbye as he drove to his house.

Know I was alone in the I gave myself a moment to ready myself for the abuse coming. Taking a deep breath I opened the door.

Standing in the hallway was Jacob and Charlie both of whom looked pissed and ready to put me in my place.

I bit my lip in fear, trying not to show it, I think I failed.

"Well looked who finally came home the fucker know as whore. Do you know how long we were waiting girl? Jake has been waiting for you while you go around coming home fucking late! What the hell have you been doing, sleeping around with all those boys? HMM?"

"I wasn't sleeping 'with all those boys' Charlie! Who the hell told you I was doing that anyway, hmm the fucking mutt over here? I ain't the whore in this damn house Charlie!" I couldn't contain my anger any longer, I was sick of being treated like dirt!

I wasn't ready for Charlie's slap, I fell to the floor clutching my cheek. _I'm going to be brave, I'm going to be brave_, I kept reciting in my head. My heart pounded with fear at Charlie's next words,

"Jake I think you should go upstairs with the slut, show her that she is yours and put her in her damn place, what do you say?"

The dog just smiled and roughly pulled me up, slapping me over his shoulder so that he could touch me. he shouted over his shoulder,

"You might want to leave Charlie, it will take awhile!"

Charlie just smiled cruelly and nodded his head grabbing his keys and shouted over his shoulder,

"Keep her quiet Jake."

Dread over came me as it now sunk into me what Black wanted to do with me, there was no way in hell I was going to let him do that!

"LET ME GO RIGHT NOW BLACK PUT ME DOWN!"

My shouts fell to silent ears as I was thrown on my bed roughly.

I could smell the alcohol on him as he violently kissed me.

I blacked out an hour later. I woke with a small cry and noticed that I was completely naked and covered in blood. I then soon realized that I wasn't alone, someone was sitting on the rocking chair in my room!

**I'm leaving off here, once again really srry that I didn't update soon.. oh don't worry I will never get into detail about 'that' I just can't write that, well I can but the story seems sad and angst enough without and I don't want this to be rated 'M'……. okay so how about 9 reviews fr this chapter??**

**I'll try to update sooner and make the chapies longer!! Any ideas are welcome!! Good night I'm out!! **


	5. Relationships Start To Grow

**Disclaimer: Once again, peeps I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING it all belongs to the great Stephanie Meyer and Bubbly belongs to Colbie Cailat or Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne**

**Dang a lot of you guys review quick!! This chapie is MUCH longer fr all u guys!! **

**The song fr this chapie is Small Town Girl it seems to go with this chapie, now on wit the storie lol ;-) **

Bella's pov:

I had stopped breathing for a moment, I was in my room, naked and there was someone right by me in my old rocking chair. Unintentionally my mind went back to what happened before I pasted out. Thinking that the person on the chair was Jacob I went against the wall on my bed. I starting shaking my head, mumbling softly,

"No, no more please." My voice broke at the end, I couldn't stand this anymore I wanted to fucking die!

I wasn't expecting a calming velvet voice, it was Edward! Even though I knew it was him, that didn't stop me from flinching away from his touch. It broke my heart to see his face so torn, I didn't understand why he was here, or how he got in here for that matter.

He spoke in a gentle voice trying not to scare me,

"Bella, Bella its me. Its Edward. I know it's a stupid question but are you alright? Who did this to you?"

I choked back a sob, I shook my head again. The pain didn't settle in till now. It hurt everywhere, there was not one place that wasn't throbbing with pain. I wasn't alright and never would be. I didn't get why Edward was even here, he should be out with some pretty girl who he deserves, not with me the broken Swan girl. I finally spoke after a long silence, I was shocked at how weak my voice sounded,

"Why are you here, with me, why do you even fucking care about me? No one cares about me! I'm just a whore living in a hellhole."

Yes, I sounded rude, but really what else was there for him to do to me, not that Edward would ever do anything like _that._ His eyes went wide with anger as he listen to me speak.

"Don't ever call yourself a whore you are the farthest thing from one! And for as why I am here, I care about you! You don't deserve this-this inhumane abuse Bella! Let me take you to my father he is a doctor and can check you."

My eyes went wide with fear and pain, no way was I going to see a doctor! Charlie would find out and then I really would be dead, not that I really minded anyway. But I couldn't let Edward and the Cullens try to fix my problems, they shouldn't, I'm not worth it.

"NO! I can't go to any doctor I'm fine! I can take care of myself!"

He sighed in frustration, he spoke in a calm yet forceful voice,

"Bella you are abused and after what just happened to you, you need a doctor, you could get very ill!"

I felt something spark in my heart, it was a feeling I wasn't really used to, I started feeling love for Edward. Something I knew might end badly.

I still shook my head, I asked for my clothes, I knew how to take care of myself.

Sensing what I wanted, he turned around and let me get dressed in private. He gave me a hoddie with a skull and MCR written in horror letters, and my black pants. I gave the okay for him to turn around. I tried to walk to the bathroom, but before I reached the door. My legs collapsed underneath me. I felt so weak, but I still wasn't going to no doctor!

Edward caught me before I hit the ground, I clung onto his shirt. I knew I couldn't make it to the bathroom without falling. He picked me up and walked into the bathroom, I wondered how he knew were everything was? He put me on the toilet, with the lid down of course! I told him were the medical material was.

He gave me the ointments and stepped back. I put it everywhere it hurt, asking Edward to step out for a moment first. I called him in after, I leaned against the wall, I was exhausted and weak. I needed food something I would have to wait for. Edward watched me with worry, he seemed to be thinking about something,

"Bella?" he seemed hesitant. "Do you want to go to my house, my father isn't home only Alice is home, and maybe you could just get more help and food?"

I thought about it, I don't think Alice would tell, and I really was hungry, but what about the rest of his family?

"Edward, what about the rest of your family? Where are they?"

"Oh, um they are out on a family hiking for the weekend, Alice isn't really the type of girl to hike so she stayed home with me."

Oh that made sense, I was about to say yes when I remembered Charlie and Jacob. Where were they anyway?

"Wait Edward, what happened to Charlie and Jacob? If I leave they'll notice I'm gone if I leave!"

I won't lie I am scared of those two and don't want to get caught sneaking out with Edward, even though I badly wanted to go to his house and see Alice.

His eyes went dark at the mention of Charlie and Jacob; he shook his head and said,

"They left awhile ago, shouting how they would be gone till tomorrow night, saying you better be home. They won't be back for awhile so its alright, you won't get caught, trust me!"

He must have seen my insecurity, because he wrapped his arms around me and whispered reassurance in my ear. I felt safe around Edward like nothing can go wrong with him here.

I spoke quietly,

"Alright, but only for a little while. I'm happy I get to see Alice again."

And I was too, it felt like years since I last saw her, not just a day and a half. He smiled the smile that made me melt. We were in his car in a minute, he put on Debussy again. I started relaxing to the music, I didn't know I had closed my eyes intil I opened them. I looked out the window and was alarmed to see how fast we were going.

I looked at the speedometer and had to put my hand on my mouth so I wouldn't shout. He was going 130 miles per hour! He saw my alarmed look and asked,

"Are you alright Bella? What is wrong?"

I looked at him like he was crazy I pointed to the meter and said,

"That's whats wrong you're going 130 miles per hour! We're going to wreck damnit, slow down!"

He laughed, and relaxed again knowing that something wasn't wrong.

"Bella I'm insulted! I always drive this fast, I never wreck. Please do not worry you'll make me worried. You're safe with my driving."

He left off with a wink and held my hand, I looked down and blushed. I still wasn't used to this kind of affection.

"Alright but focus on the road! My heart is going as fast as this car!"

He laughed again and slowed down again. The CD ended, he asked if I had any favorite songs that he had. I looked through his CDs and found one, I put it in. I let the music flow through, watching him smile. I started singing along with the music softly so he wouldn't hear.

_**I've been awake for a while now  
You make me feel like a child now  
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face  
I get the tinglies in a silly place**_

It starts in my toes  
Makes me crinkle my nose  
Wherever it goes  
I always know  
That you make me smile  
Please stay for a while now  
Just take your time  
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane  
But we are hiding in a safer place  
Under covers staying safe and warm  
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes  
Make me crinkle my nose  
Wherever it goes  
I always know  
That you make me smile  
Please stay for a while now  
Just take your time  
Wherever you go

What am I going to say  
When you make me feel this way  
I just mmmmm

And it starts in my toes  
Makes me crinkle my nose  
Wherever it goes  
I always know  
That you make me smile  
Please stay for a while now  
Just take your time  
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now  
You tuck me in just like a child now  
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms  
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it stats in my soul  
And I lose all control  
When you kiss my nose  
The feeling shows  
'cause you make me smile baby  
Just take your time now  
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go  
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go  
I always know  
'Cause you make me smile  
Even just for a while

The song ended off, he lowered the volume.

"You know you have a beautiful voice?"

My eyes went wide, I didn't think he had heard me, I shook my head,

"No, I don't usually sing, I don't like my voice." I was embarrassed, it leaked through my voice.

He frowned then he smiled,

"Hmm, well to me you have a wonderful voice, I happen to love it, will you come over my house when we have karaoke night? My sisters would love to have another girl around, since we always outnumber them."

I was about to reply, when he shut off the engine and opened his door. He was at my side in an instant. He opened the door for me, saying,

"Shall we my lady?"

Blushing I relied,

"Why yes my kind sir."

He smiled his crooked smile and took my hand leading me to his house.

It was huge! It looked more like a mansion that a house, yet it still had the sense of home. _**(**__**i'm not putting the description of the house cause we all know wat it looks like and my friend still has my book srry) **_ he opened the front door and Alice came down the stairs with a huge smile on her face.

"BELLA!!"

Was all the warning I got before she danced up to me and hugged me. I couldn't stop the gasp of pain that ran through me. Edward grew worried when he heard me gasp,

"Alice!"

She released me quickly with a sad look on her face,

"I'm so sorry Bella! Here lets go upstairs and get you something."

I smiled and was about to follow her when the stupid shiny Volvo owner just had to pick me up bridal style and follow Alice upstairs.

"Edward! I can walk on my own two legs fine!"

Okay I was still wobbly but come on! I'm a big girl.

He laughed and shook his head was all the response I had. I heard Alice laughing from the bathroom, Edward put me down in Alice's room? I think but with all the pictures of her and a blonde haired boy I think this was her room.

"I'm going to leave you two girls up here, I'll be downstairs if you need me."

I nodded my head and Alice screamed 'ALRIGHT EDDIE!'

His eyes narrowed he stuck his head out the door and said loudly,

"WHATEVER YOU SAY _MARY!_" he started laughing when Alice blew a raspberry.

He bit his lip before going downstairs, he walked over to me and so quickly before I realized what he was doing he lightly kissed me on my bruised cheek. He smiled crookedly when he saw me blush and smile. I still had a small smile on my face when Alice walked into the room.

Her face was lighted up, I thought her face would brake from how wide she was smiling. She started squealing loudly and jumped up and down quickly.

"Oh my CARILISE! Yay! You and my brother look so sweet together!"

I put my head down and blushed, _again_! I tried to ignore the obivious,

"I have no idea of what you mean Alice. Me and Edward are just close friends!"

She rolled her eyes and said,

"Ya right, you never saw Edward before he met you, he was always in his room, hardly ever coming out of his shell. You really brought him out of former self! You really have no idea how happy he is now!"

I sighed, I really couldn't imagine Edward sullen and depressed. I nodded my head, but really I couldn't be the reason Edward is so happy, it had to be someone else.

I now just noticed what Alice had brought with her, it was tons of medical things.

Alice saw me staring and sadly smiled at me,

"But because your not going to the doctors, you're going to need all of this so you don't fall sick."

I nodded my head feeling sick, and noticing the spasms of pain shooting through me. I took a deep breath and wobbled to the bathroom with Alice in tow.

After three hours, yes that's right THREE FREAKING HOURS! I finally had all the bruises covered and healing, all the antibiotics in me and everything else Alice helped me with. I couldn't stop thanking her, even though it still hurts like hell, I know I would still be okay, well till next time that is.

I was still thanking her as we walked downstairs into the kitchen,

"Bella you don't have to thank me, you're my friend and I'd gladly help you!"

I smiled, I liked the sound of that, I finally had friends who I could lean onto for support.

As we stepped into the kitchen, I smelled all the food Edward had made for me, and damn was there a lot!

"Wow Edward! That's a lot of freaking food!"

He smiled sheepishly, and shrugged his shoulders,

"I didn't know how hungry you were so I tried making different types of food."

I nodded my head, "Um okay, are you and Alice eating too?"

Alice spoke this time,

"No I already ate before you came here, I'm still stuffed!"

I looked at Edward, he shook his head saying,

"I ate when I was making your lunch sorry, but I just got hungry making all the food!"

I nodded my head, not really caring at this point I was too hungry!

I grabbed a plate of pasta and garlic bread, I sat there chewing and grabbing more, my motto right now, 'you can never have too much pasta'! After that I had cherry pie, I felt like a pig, but my stomach was finally full.

I turned to see Alice and Edward smiling. I blushed as I wiped my mouth with a napkin. I started putting the plate away when Edward stopped me,

He asked,

"What do you think you are doing, you are the guest of the house, go relax with Alice in the living room, I'll be there in a minute."

I tried protesting but he wouldn't let me help clean up. Fine, I won't clean!

Me and Alice went into their living room, and what a room it was! It was of course HUGE! They had a plasma T.V. with tons of DVDs. The whole room was designed perfectly! My face must have shown my awe because Alice started giggling, and waving her hand over my face trying to get my attention.

"I'm sorry Alice, but wow! Your house is awesome!"

"Thanks Bella, Emse, my adopted mother is a designer, she loves redoing our house!"

Alice went to the DVD rack and searched for something to watch, I went to sit on the couch. A minute later Alice sat down with me, already having the DVD in the TV. As the previews started coming to an end, and the movie started rolling, Edward came in and sat next to me while watching the movie. I really do forget what the movie was about, or what it was. Edward kept on distracting me. He was either playing with my hair, or saying the lead male actor's lines in my ear.

I fell asleep in the middle of the movie, I woke up on an unfamiliar couch. But I soon knew it was Edward's couch and his room. It just screamed _him_. Everything smelled like him. I didn't know what time it was, but I knew it wasn't the nighttime from the window. In fact, it looked like mid-day! I sat up quickly, I had to get home!

I tried to get up, but collapsed as I tried to walk to the door. I closed my eyes as I started falling, but soon felt cold marble arms instead of the floor.

I opened my eyes to see Edward's topaz ones, they seemed lighter today then last night.

"Good afternoon to you too Bella." He said smiling. He seemed happier today.

"Hey Edward, I know its afternoon. I have to get home." I didn't want to bring it up, but I had to get home, I really didn't want to get taught a lesson tonight!

His smile went away quicker then light, he let go of me when I was steady and ran a hand through his hair. He nodded his head and took a breath,

"Okay, I'll take you home in two hours, I want Alice to give you the medicine to take home, so you have it. Keep you're window open tonight, I want to make sure you're okay."

I nodded my head, I didn't mind that they would give me more of that medicine, I would need it.

"You shouldn't come tonight Edward, you might get caught and Charlie he'll have you arrested and then I'll never see any of your family, or you and-and-" I broke off the thought of never seeing Edward again, it hurt to much to even think about it.

He pulled me against his chest, I clung to his shirt I wasn't about to let go of the best damn thing in my life!

"Shh, Bella I'm not going anywhere. No one or anything can take you away from me, nor can I take myself away from you. I think I'm too deep in with you."

I looked up into his face as he said that, his head started leaning down while I leaned up, I looked down at his lips while he looked at mine. He was a millimeter away from kissing me when………………… Alice barged in.

"Hey guys I have the medici- OH! Sorry, shit, I'll leave you two alone. Sorry!"

I looked back at Edward and bit my lip, we were so close! Damn Alice for her bad timing! I sighed and saw him step back. An awkward silence filled the room, I knew he didn't want to kiss me. I mean, I get abused I'm not clean.

He rubbed the back of his neck, and pinched the end of his nose with his thumb and fore finger.

"I think I should take you home now Bella, my family is coming home sooner then I though. I'm really sorry, I wanted to take you somewhere before you had to leave."

I replied in a soft voice so I wouldn't give myself away,

"It's alright Edward, maybe we can go next time."

He gave a small smile and said he would hold me to that.

He walked out of the room to let me get dressed, it took me a couple of minutes to get dressed and once or twice of falling down but I managed. I walked into the hallway after I was decent. Edward was there leaning against the wall, when he saw me he smiled and pushed himself off the wall and called for Alice. She came dancing with the bag of medicine. She walked over to me and hugged me,

"You come over soon, alright, or I'll come over there and give you a very long makeover!"

I giggled at that,

"Alright, I'll visit when I get the chance Alice."

She hugged me, I had to remind her that I needed to breathe.

"Oh, and Bella?" she asked after a long hug

"Yes Alice?" I asked, she continued.

"Make sure that you don't open your door or window tonight unless Edward says it him. For me?" she seemed like something bad would happen if it wasn't Edward that I opened the window for. But I agreed and hugged her again and thanked her.

Edward held my hand as we went to his car. With his fast speeding we made it to my hellhole house in no time. I tried paying attention to the lyrics, they seemed to describe how I felt right now,

_**Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday.  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.**_

What's wrong, whats wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you've left behind.  
Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's falling from grace.  
She's all over the place!  
Yeah!! (yeah)

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh  
She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh  
Ohhh...

I didn't realize that I was crying until Edward parked and wiped the tears from my face. I looked at his face and saw pain, I couldn't understand why he was in pain. I put my hand on his cheek, and tried to understand why he was in pain.

"Edward what is wrong?"

His eyes became angry, he spoke in a whisper

"You're asking _me_ whats wrong? Damnit Bella, I should be asking _you_ whats wrong! I can't stand to see you in pain! It hurts me to see you and pain and I can't do anything!"

I was shocked, yes he helped me, but that didn't mean he cared, he shouldn't I'm not worth it!

"Edward, I-I-I'm not worth it. You shouldn't be in pain just because you see me hurt, listen to me. I'm bruised and-and unclean, you shouldn't care, no one should."

He listened to me speak without interrupting, but from the way his eyes burned with something I couldn't figure out I knew he disagreed with me.

"Bella. Bella you can not honestly think that, but you do don't you? How do I explain it… Bella before I met you, _**my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars -- points of lights and reason…And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire, there was brilliancy, there was beauty. (New Moon pg.514 chpt.23)**_"

I sat there in shock at his words, I felt for the first time in my life loved, something I have always wanted. I looked into his eyes, I asked once more just to be sure,

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do Bella. You mean more to mean then anything at this point."

We were silent for a few moments, but then he started leaning closer, I bit my lip and looked down at his lips at the same moment he looked at mine. I started leaning closer to him, I thought we would have gotten interrupted again but we didn't which I'm happy to say!

At the moment his lips touched mine electricity flew through my body, this kiss wasn't at all like the mutts kiss. This was one of love and passion, but yet gentle and not rough and violent. He put his hand on the back of my neck and the small of my back to pull me closer, while I ran my hands in his hair. He pulled back after a moment, giving me a chance to breathe.

I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love. He smiled crookedly, my favorite smile that still sent me weak to the bones. He kissed me lightly once more before kissing my cheeks,

"I'll be up with you before you know it. Wait for me, love. I'll see you tonight."

I opened the door, biting my lip, I bent down to give him one last kiss. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. He smiled and said goodbye. He watched me get inside the hellhole and left when I locked it. I leaned against the door with a sigh and couldn't wait for tonight.

**Alright guys I'm leaving it here, I think its plenty long enough!! They kissed they kissed!! See I told you guys it would get better!! LoL ok really thanx fr all the reviews they helped me write this long of a chapie!! Ok so 11 reviews till the next one, but only because you guys review so freaking fast, I'll update on Saturday, but If I don't then on Sunday. Any ideas on what should happen r welcome, I have ideas but would like to hear more!! Thank you all, now time for some dessert I'm hungry!! lol**


	6. not your fault

**Disclaimer: alright I'm glaring now, me.own.nothin. lOl **

**READ!! Bella hasn't seen anyone besides eddie and alice, because the family was on a hunting trip, they came back right after bella went home. That's why eddie said he had to take her home sooner, cause he didn't think they would lke a bleeding human in their home rite after they hunted!! Buy they found out and now know where eddie goes at night!! Okay I'm don't enjoy the sixth chapie!! :)**

**Bella's pov**

I closed my eyes and tried to get my breathing under control, but that didn't mean my mind listened to me though. I had a goofy smile on my face, I felt like I was walking on cloud nine. I pulled myself back together and walked upstairs to hide the medicine in my room.

My eyes went wide as I walked into my room. I had forgot about what happened the night before. My bed sheets were covered in my blood. Breathing through my mouth, I quickly took off the comforter and the sheets. I felt sick, I didn't know I lost that much blood, they were too stained to just put in the wash. I curled it into a ball by my door so that I would remember to throw them out in the dumpster down the street. I checked the clock; it was already 4:23. I took another deep breath and grabbed my iPod; I needed to be calmed down. I put on Hello by Evanescence.

I hide the medical supplies under the loose floorboard. I then went downstairs, with the bedspread and ran as fast as my body would let me, which really wasn't fast. I had to take breathers to and from the dumpster, but I made it! Holding my stomach I headed for the kitchen. Two things off the list thousand more to go. I decided to make steak and potatoes tonight. Maybe Charlie would be in a good mood. I let the steaks marinate, I set the timer for a half hour.

I cleaned the house, and washed the laundry, I completed my mental list. But I felt like I was missing something. Looking around I still couldn't shake off the feeling, shrugging I walked into the kitchen and put the potatoes and the steaks into the stove for 45 minutes. I went back up stairs, I had nothing to do except wait for dinner to be done, sighing I looked for my Pride and Prejudice and lost myself into the conflicts of fiction love.

The timer went off, and my head snapped up. I almost key word _almost _forgot where I was. Marking my page in the book, I got up and headed once again for the kitchen I really did feel like a slave. Checking the clock made me rush, it was 5:45. Charlie usually came home around this time. Like clockwork, speak of the devil and the devil shall appear. Charlie came barging in through the front hallway shouting where his dinner was. Not waiting for me to reply he thundering in. Glaring at me he said in his normal growl,

"Damnit bitch where is my fucking dinner girl? Do I need to call Jacob back up here for another 'lesson'?"

Shaking my head no was all the reply he got. I wasn't going to shout at him, I just wanted to get back to my room and wait for Edward to come. I grabbed a plate and put the steaks and potatoes on the plate.

I set it in front of his seat, he glared at me as I half ran half limped out of the kitchen. I closed my door as I made it to my bedroom. I sat on my bed, I didn't feel like reading, my head hurt too much for that. Edward wouldn't be coming till Charlie was knocked out which could take hours. Deciding to just take a nap, I tried to get warm on my bed. I fell asleep within minutes.

I woke to the shouting of my name. My eyes snapped open, I didn't think I did anything wrong, I cleaned the dirty dishes, washed the laundry, etc. Taking a deep breath I walked downstairs quickly as to avoid getting Charlie even more mad. Charlie was drunk once again. Beers and wine bottles littered the living room floor and he looked pissed.

"Y-y-yes Charlie?" I said trying to cover up my fear, I don't think I succeeded.

He glared at me and said bitterly,

"What did you do today bitch? You didn't go anywhere, DID YOU?"

I shook my head, and started speaking when I got a slap to my cheek. He laughed cruelly,

"WHAT DID WE TELL YOU GIRL? I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK, AND FOOD SO YOU DON'T STARVE AND YOU REPAY ME BY GOING AROUND THE TOWN BEING A LIL SLUT?"

He was starting to scream now, he slapped me again, and kicked my legs from under me. This time I managed to cover my head, so at least that wasn't damaged. The same thing can't be said for my back though. After one fast kick, I couldn't contain the small scream that leaked through. Laughing again he pulled me up, I could smell the reek of his breath as he screamed into my face,

"YOU'RE SUCH A BABY! CAN'T EVEN TAKE A HIT! WHY WAS I CURSED WITH SUCH A BITCH! I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! YOU'RE A MISTAKE FROM HELL! ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE MOTHER WANTED A KID! IF I HAD IT MY WAY WE WOULD BE A SMALL HAPPY FAMILY WITH THE BOY THAT SHOULD HAVE LIVED!"

That shocked me a bit. I didn't know I had a twin, I thought that I was an only child. Is this why Charlie hates me so? He continued, giving me the answers I was silently thinking.

"WE HAD TO CHOOSE, ALL BECAUSE RENEE GAVE BIRTH PRE-MATURELY! BEING THE LITTLE BABY SHE WAS SHE PICKED YOU, WHO SHE LATER GREW TO HATE. IF WE HAD IT MY WAY WE WOULD STILL BE TOGATHER WITH A BOY INSTEAD OF YOU! YOUR JUST A STUPID, ULGY, MISTAKE!"

He let me go, but not before slapping and punching me first. Crumpled on the floor he kicked me for a while, then he went to his room. The knowledge Charlie gave me answers, now I know why Charlie and Renee started arguing, why it all happened the way it did. They picked me to live while my twin brother died. Why did they start to hate me, I still don't get, did I not live up to their expectations? What did I _not_ do? Maybe I really am a mistake, maybe I really should be dead right now. I made it to my bedroom after 15 minutes. I loosened the floorboard and applied the ointments and the antibiotics. Even though I didn't deserve it, I knew that if Edward saw me like this he would kill Charlie, though I don't see why he would care, I'm worthless.

I went to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. When I got back to my room, I had to stifle a scream, sitting on my bed was Edward! I tried to run over but of course fell in the process. Catching me before I fell, Edward shot me his crooked smile. Chuckling silently he said,

"Bella, Bella what am I going to do with you?"

I looked up sheepishly, he helped me up and not letting me walk, carried to bride-style he walked over to the bed. Still not letting me go he looked at me, his gaze was searching, I dropped my gaze blushing. He caressed my bruised cheek, he started growling softly. My eyes went wide, he stopped growling but still looked mad. Feeling brave I cupped his cheek in my hand and said,

"Please don't be mad Edward, I'm used to this. It will go away in a few weeks."

His eyes drained of any hostile feelings he felt towards Charlie and turned to love. Blushing I looked down onto my lap. He took my hand and held it in his.

"Bella, you shouldn't be use to this abuse, that is what gets me mad. How can someone hurt an angel?"

He kissed me softly after he said that, I broke away so I wouldn't be distracted.

"Edward I am anything but an angel, I'm the farthest fucking thing from one! I was the cause of Renee and Charlie arguing and then freaking splitting up! And for my t-t-twin b-b-brothers d-d-death!"

I didn't mean for the last part to come out, every time I'm around Edward I seem to tell him everything! His eyes went wide with rage, he responded,

"Bella, I can't believe that you would blame yourself for something completely out of your control! Charlie and Renee split up because of their own problems, not because of you! And for you brother's death, that was their choice! Don't you ever, ever blame yourself for something you can not control! Never!"

Silent tears where coming down my face as he spoke, part of me wanted to believe him, but the other part of me screamed I was to blame. Rocking back and forth Edward held me as I tried to control myself. He buried his face in my hair, while I got his shirt all wet.

As I got control of myself I looked up into his eyes, he was smiling softly. Leaning down towards me, he kissed me. Like the one in the car, this one gave me shocks of electricity up and down my body, but unlike the last one. This one was a reassuring, telling me I was worth something. Curling my hands around his neck, he put his hands on my waist and didn't let go. I was the one to let go first, I had to breath sometime, but his lips didn't leave my skin. Trailing from my jaw to my neck three times before I got my breath back I pulled him up for another kiss. This time he fell back onto the bed. His hands ran up and down my back, sending tingles wherever they went. Pulling back to breath again, I sat there looking into his eyes.

He was smiling crookedly, making my heart go into over drive.

"Do you believe me now?"

I just nodded my head, that was all I could do as I response. Leaning in for another kiss he sat up and chuckled. Detangling my hands from his hair, he laid me down on my bed, which I had failed to notice, now had bed sheets and bed spread. It was a nightmare before Christmas, it was black of course and had the skeletons all over it.

Looking up at him confused he answered,

"I knew you needed another one, so I bought you one I thought you might like."

Blushing I started to complain how he shouldn't spend money on me, he was already doing enough! But he cut me off with a small kiss. Grinning he gave me a pair of PJs. They were black with sheep and clouds on them. Still grinning he turned to the window and let me get dressed in privacy.

I cleared my throat when I was done, turning around, _still_ grinning might I add, his breath caught. Thinking that I forgot something important, like the buttons I looked down only to look up into his eyes.

He picked me up and kissed me making me silly putty in his arms. Laughing silently, he said,

"You really don't know what you do to me do you Bella?"

Blushing I said,

"Do _you_ have any idea what you do to me?"

Both of us laughing Edward set me on the bed. Crawling under the covers, I looked up at him. Biting my lip I asked,

"Edward will you sleep with me tonight?"

Blushing at how that must sound I waited for an answer,

"Alright Bella, but I'll stay on top of the covers so you don't freeze."

Grinning I patted the spot next to me, he crawled beside me. Snuggling into his chest he murmured a 'goodnight my angel' and hummed me to sleep with a lullaby. I drifted off know that I had a guardian angel beside me.

WHERETHELINESHOULDBEWHERETHELINESHOULDBEWHERETHELINESHOULDBEWHERETHELIN

**Alright guys I'm leaving it off here, its late and I am being forced to get off lol umm five reviews till the next one!! I need ideas for the next one!! Goodnite me out sk8tboardin away lol :)**


	7. love over takes all

Do you even know

**IMPORTANT A/N READ PLEZE!! Ok all, I am soooo sorry tht I haven't updated almost all summer, and im really sorry tht I haven't its just…….gah u know overprotective fam, im really sorry and will try to update every chance I get, but it won't be that soon, I know that this chapie doesn't really make-up for all those months that I didn't update buttttttttttttttttttt here you go**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOFFIN**

Bella's POV.

I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to know that everything that happened was just a dream. But, the sun wouldn't let me sleep. Groaning I yawned and felt something cold and hard. Opening my eyes I saw a pair of amber eyes staring back into mine.

"So I guess I wasn't dreaming, you're real then." I said matter of factly.

Grinning he brushed my hair out of my eyes and said,

"Nope, you weren't dreaming Bella. I'm real."

As if to make his point he kissed me softly before sitting us up and stated,

"Breakfast time for the human."

As if agreeing my stomach grumbled, blushing I started to giggle then broke off,

"What about Charlie? Damnit I didn't make him breakfast yet, oh no."

I looked at the clock and saw that it was early, it was only 6:50. But usually Charlie would be cussing at me for not having his breakfast ready.

Frowning Edward said, "He left early, I think he is going over to the Black house today."

But that still didn't answer as to why I didn't answer as to why I Charlie didn't yell at me or beat me as he does every morning. Sighing I got out of bed thinking, _well at least there was no hits to start the day off, instead I have a Greek god with me. _Grinning at this newest thought tried to stand up to the bathroom, but of course I was still sore and my legs just wouldn't cooperate as they should.

Catching me before I fell to the ground Edward helped me to the bathroom where he left me to get ready for the day. Sighing I looked into the mirror and couldn't help but remember a certain lyric from a song My Chemical Romance sang, pursuing my lips reached for my IPod and put the song on.

**Now come one, come all to this tragic affair  
Wipe of that makeup- what's in is despair  
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot  
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not**

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see  
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me  
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this good-bye  
I'd encourage your smiles  
I'll expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag  
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag  
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball  
When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all!

I said yeah!  
Yeah!  
I said yeah!  
Yeah!

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon I said save me!  
Get me the hell out of here  
Save me!  
Too young to die and my dear  
You can't!  
If you can hear me just walk away and take me!

Sighing I took a quick shower and did all the necessities, eyeliner, hair, check check. I went into my room and put on my skinny jeans, I put on my favorite hoddie. It was black with a complete skeleton of the upper body, slipping on my vans I tried not to trip while going out to the hallway to meet Edward.

Hugging me from behind he wrapped his arms around me and said,

"You look beautiful Bella."

Blushing I said, "Your not so bad yourself you know." I don't really know how I ever deserved him, he deserves better then me. Some pretty girl that looks like she could match up to his god-like stature(sp?).

Smirking he picked me up bridal style, ignoring my protest, "I can walk just fine Edward!" he walked us down to the kitchen and sat me down on one of the chairs.

Huffing I said, "I could have walked down just as good you know. I have two legs!" and to prove my point I stuck them on the chair beside me. Grinning, he looked at them then at me and said,

"I know you have legs silly Bella, but its just funnier to carry you down."

Still huffing I stood up and walked past him or tried to, he sat me right back down on the chair, he said,

"Where you going Bella? I am going to be your server today, you need to heal."

Glaring I crossed my arms and just huffed. Its not like I wasn't used to this kind of pain, I'm a big girl I can take it! I don't even really eat breakfast anyways! Decided to humor him I said,

"OK then. I'll just have a pop tart." Watching him trying to find the pop tarts I added, "So you're gonna be my server all day then huh?"

Grinning like a fool during Christmas he nodded his head, saying

"Anything you want I shall grant you my Bella. Though there is somewhere I want to take you today. I have to tell you something." He seemed a bit nervous at the last sentence.

After he got the pop tart ready I ate in silence, not because I wanted to ignore him. Its just it hurt to eat something so solid after the beating Charlie gave me last night.

Pushing my plate away I got up, ignoring his helpful hand, I threw away the plate and sat on his lap. Sighing I put my head in the crook of his neck. It felt right being with him, like we were two puzzle pieces that finally put together.

Brushing my hair with his hands we sat like that for awhile, just savoring each others presence. Looking up I said quietly,

"So, where is this place that you want to take me? I should warn you I'm not too good with surprises."

Smiling that damn crooked smile that makes my heart burst he said softly,

"It wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you now would it? I promise Bella you will love it. I just have to go home real quick to change. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes."

Clutching his shirt I said, "Do you have to go? You look great already!"

Great was putting it mildly, I don't think there even was a word to describe him.

Holding the hand that was clutching his shirt he whispered, "I don't want to go, but really, what would the neighbors think? Besides Alice wanted to tell me something important or so she said."

Rolling my eyes I decided to play with him, grinning I said, "We don't have any neighbors anyway Eddie."

I giggled as I spoke his dreaded nickname, I couldn't help it. Though maybe I shouldn't have as I saw the playful look grow in his eye.

"Oh you're gonna regret that Bella."

Giggling I said, "What you gonna do about it 'Eddie'."

I couldn't stop myself from letting out a laugh, narrowing his eyes he picked me up and ran to my room. Wondering what he was thinking of, I was unprepared for a wave of tickles aimed at my stomach.

Feather soft hands tickled me mercilessly.

"OK, OK! I won't call you Eddie anymore haha stop it!"

Laughing he tickled me for a few more seconds then stopped. I guess that sometime during that tickle fest we ended up on the floor with me underneath him. Blushing I looked up at him and started leaning up to him, I could feel electricity as I got closer to him. Looking into my eyes he met my lips halfway and it was heaven right in the smack of hell. Closing my eyes I pulled myself closer to him. He deepened the kiss and held me closer then I thought possible, but still very gentle. Like I was as fragile as a glass doll.

I had to brake away to breath, cursing myself in my head, I cursed our need to breath I hated that I had to end that kiss. When I looked at him his eyes seemed darker, he was stiffer but he still held me close. Grinning he sat us up and kissed me twice, three times before we stood up.

"I have to go love, I'll be back before you know it. I'll bring my car."

Hugging him I didn't want to let go but let him go knowing that he would be soon. Almost forgetting I said before he could slip out the window.

"Wait Edward, where are we going?"

Chuckling he answered me, "It's a surprise love, what your wearing is perfect, I'll give you a hint. It involves hiking. See you soon my love."

Silently he slipped out of my window, but not before giving me a kiss goodbye.

Taking a deep breath as to calm my racing heart, I looked myself over in the mirror. I decided to clean up and get some dinner ready. Not know how long we would be gone. Marinating the roast would take all day so I set that in the fridge. I went back to my room after I cleaned the house a little bit. I kept checking the clock, 5 minutes went by, 9 minutes went by.

"GAH! Stupid clock can't you go any faster!"

Swearing at the slowness of time, I got my IPod and tried to calm myself down by listening to Needles and Pens by Hawthorne Heights. I started to sing along, not noticing that Edward had come back through the window, with my back turned from the window I started to sing along to the lyrics,

**I miss you most on winter mornings  
as we drift we slip through evenings, whoa-oh  
we drive into the cold and dark with fingers crossed  
I follow your eyes to avoid from getting lost**

And all I had was the memory of what was  
so let's pretend it never mattered to us  
I hope this message finds you well  
Never thought I'd live to tell

Just to survive we do what we can  
we read the maps and signs, and we make the plans  
by our design I write it down to get me by  
the worst time in my life

And all I had was the memory of what was  
so let's pretend it never mattered to us  
I hope this message finds you well  
Never thought I'd live to tell  
what's a dream and what is real,  
the way I really feel

I hope this message finds you well  
I never thought I'd live to tell  
what's a dream and what is real?  
So let's pretend this is the ending  
(So let's pretend...echo) (this is the ending...echo)  
to the message I've been sending, sending  
(to the message...echo) (I've been sending...echo)

And all I had was the memory of what was  
so let's pretend it never mattered to us  
I hope this message finds you well  
Never thought I'd live to tell  
what's a dream and what is real,  
the way I really feel

I hope this message finds you well  
Never thought I'd live to tell  
what's a dream and what is real,  
the way I really feel

"You know you have a wonderful voice?"

Gasping I turned around to see Edward smiling, blushing I said,

"Erm, well, no. Though the shower head doesn't seem to complain much."

Chuckling he walked towards me, grabbing my hand he lead me downstairs to his car.

"Can you _now_ tell me where we are going Edward? Please!"

I did my best to give him the puppy dog pout, he didn't seemed swayed by my attempts.

"Nope, you'll just have to be surprised."

Rolling my eyes I walked to the passengers seat, of course before I could open the door, he opened it for me. Grinning he ran over to his side, faster then I thought possible. Holding my hand we talked and listened to music the whole way to this mysterious place that he wouldn't tell where or what it was.

With his terrifying driving we arrived to the place that he wanted to surprise me. It was a path into the woods, remembering is words about hiking I bit my lip and said,

"Erm, Edward you know that I am extremely clumsy right? So this might not be the best idea, me trying to hike."

Chuckling he led me to another car. It was a huge jeep that looked perfect for this type of off road driving.

"Silly Bella, I won't let you fall! We're only going to be walking for a little bit. I can carry you most of the way so there's really no possibility of you falling."

But as if my feet wanted to prove him wrong, I tripped over a upstart root. Catching me before I fell head first into dirt and mud he just shook his head trying not to smile.

We were driving in the massive jeep for about an hour and a half. It was rocky driving, I was bouncing like crazy no matter how many seat belts I had on.

We stopped after we could no longer see the path, stepping out Edward helped me out and started walking to the secret place that he didn't want me to know about till we got there. After the third time I tripped he put me on his back, ignoring my complaints of how I would throw out his back.

We were walking for a half hour when he let me off. We came to a clearing that to put it simply took my breath away. There were wildflowers growing everywhere, I could hear a stream a little bit away from us. The sun was shining giving everything a magical glow.

"Oh my Edward, this is beautiful! It just takes my breath away!"

He was smiling at me, but he had a guarded look. I gave him a confused look he wanted to tell me something, but as to what it was I don't know.

Taking a deep breath he said, "Bella I brought you here because I wanted to show you something…"

Looking around I grew even more confused, "What did you want to show me? The meadow? Its simply gorgeous Edward!"

Shaking his head he answered,

"No, I didn't want to show you the meadow, ok well I did but this was to just….." he looked away and continued, "Bella have you noticed anything different about me? Surly you get that I am not something human."

Nodding my head I said, "Yes, I have noticed. But what are you getting at?"

"Bella I, I am a monster. A soulless monster that shouldn't even be with an angel. That doesn't even deserve you."

He looked away, my mouth was opening and closing. I started to get mad but before I could say anything he continued.

"Bella I am a vampire."

That stopped me in my tracks, I knew he was different, and that he was something unhuman, but…..

"What?"

Spitting out the words bitterly he said,

"I'm a heartless monster Bella, you shouldn't even want to be near me."

That made me angry again, I knew plenty of monsters and Edward certainly wasn't one.

Walking up to him so that I was right in front of him I grabbed him face and made him look at me.

"Listen here Edward, I know what real monsters are. And you are certainly NOT one! If you think that for one moment I'm going to lose you just because you're not human then your WRONG!"

That seemed to make him angry he said,

"I'm a vampire Bella! That alone should have you screaming in terror and running for safety! I drink blood, I could crush you without even trying!"

Glaring I spoke with as much venom as I could,

"Well do you see me running?! HMM? You saved me Edward! You are my angel who helps me in my own hell. If you want to see a monster look at Jacob! Or my own FUCKING FATHER. I lost a lot of things, I AM NOT LOSING YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU'RE A MONSTER DAMNIT!"

Ok maybe I did react a bit harsher then needed but really! This boy is crazy, yes I believed that he was a vampire but that doesn't mean that he's a monster!

He looked shock at my outburst and seemed even shocker that I yelled at him. Taking a deep breath I could feel my eyes starting to water, damn my emotions! I hate it when I cry! Taking a deep breath I turned away so that he wouldn't see me crying.

"Bella, are you, are you crying?"

"No!" my voice broke giving me away.

He spun me around so that I was facing him, he forced me to look at him, showing off my tears that reflected on my face.

"Oh Bella, look at what I do. I make you cry and yet you still think that I'm not a monster?"

Shaking my head I whispered, "Monsters wouldn't care if I cried."

I couldn't take it, I flung myself at him with as much force that I could manage. I wasn't going to let go until he admitted that he wasn't a monster. I didn't care how long it took. He wrapped his arms around me as sobs tore through me.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm so sorry." He tried to calm me down but I wouldn't stop crying, it _killed me_ to know that he thought of himself as a heartless monster.

"Edward-d I can't stand that you think of yourself as a monster, please don't ever say that again. It _kills me_, your not and never will be a monster, you are simply a guardian angel whom I don't' deserve."

"I think it's the other way around Bella, I love you so much."

We sat there for a while, I didn't care that he was a vampire. In fact I felt even safer now that I knew he was well, immortal and couldn't get hurt. I broke the silence with a question,

"So, do you melt in the sun?"

Laughing he shook his head, "Myth, I'll show you sometime what happens when are skin is in the sunlight."

Reminding myself to ask him to show me a little later I asked another question.

"Do you sleep in coffins?"

Shaking his head, "No myth, in face I can't sleep at all."

"You can't sleep? So what do you do during the night?"

He grew a sly look, "Well as of right now, watch you sleep."

"WHAT!?"

Laughing he said, "Do you know that you sleep talk?"

Groaning I nodded my head against his chest, "What did I say? Spare me the details if their embarrassing."

"Don't worry mostly you say my name."

"Oh no cuz that's not embarrassing at all!" I said sarasctly(sp?)

"If I could dream at all it would be of you."

Blushing I buried my head in his neck, then drew back,

"Is this OK? I mean does this bother you at all, me being so close?"

Growing somber he answered, "No, I can smell you and it does indeed stick out more then others but, because you are so weak your blood scent is barely there. It hardly bothers me."

Letting out a breath I said, "Good cuz I don't want you in pain."

Rolling his eyes he spoke sarascrtly, "Oh no of course don't think about yourself Bella."

Grinning I said, "OK! Can I now see what happens when you are in sunlight?"

Sighing he nodded his head and got up, though before he let me go he gave me a deep kiss, but letting go before I could deepen it. Rolling my eyes I held on to his hand as he walked towards the center of the meadow.

Looking at me wary he let go of my hand and stepped into the sunlight. Gasping I watched as what looked like thousand of diamonds sparkled on Edward. Looking at him made it even more noticeable how plain I was next to this god-like creature. Staring at me, as if he still thought that I was going to run away screaming he asked me,

"What are you thinking Bella?"

Deciding not to tell him what I was really thinking I said,

"Oh, erm, nothing of any interest." Checking his stare I told the truth, "Fine, I was thinking how plain I look next to you."

Looking away I didn't see him come up to me, either that or he ran at super speed. He put his hand under my chin and made me look at him.

"Bella, you clearly don't see yourself, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known in my whole existence. Don't even think down of yourself, you're the most gorgeous girl in my eye."

Blushing I tried to look anywhere but at him but no he wouldn't let me, cupping my cheek with his hand he leaned in and kissed me.

Jolts of electricity ran through me and I knew that Edward could feel it as well. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled him closer to me, he deepened the kiss. Wrapping his arms around my waist, both of us trying to pull the other closer. I pulled away to breath but that didn't mean he did, he slowly kissed down to my neck, and then kissed my jaw line all in sync. When I got my breath back I pulled his lips back to mine. Moaning into the kiss I could feel his grin. We fell down to the floor, I then wrapped my legs around him. Not yet wanting to let go. He groaned when I pulled him closer, kissing me harder then he pulled back and stared me in the eyes.

Grinning he pecked me on the lips and sat us up. We sat like that for a while, then he asked,

"What all do you want to know about us?"

Biting my lip I asked him the first thought that came to mind. I don't know how long we sat there but I came to know a lot.

First off, he could read minds but not mine. His whole family was also vampires, Alice could predict the future and Jasper can feel and control emotions.

We talked for hours, I started to get tired when he started to hum a lullaby. I tried to fight off sleeping, I was already sleeping tons of hours, but of course I didn't win and fell asleep on Edward. Knowing that when I woke up he would be there.

**Ok peeps, I know tht there are probably a lot of spelling errors and all tht and Im really srry but I had to write this fast!! Im probably not going to update for awhile but I had to write this for all my reviewers!! I hope this made every1 happy thnx to all the r&r and no im not done yet its just that I can't update that much like once a month update, really srry hope this was a good one, idc how many reviews I get this is fr u all ok I sound a bit cheesy but o wells goodnite!! :) **


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